Stupid Bible Story part 162 – More Flat Earth Nonsense


4+Angels+holding+the+4+WindsRevelation 7:1-4 KJV
1 And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that the wind should not blow on the earth, nor on the sea, nor on any tree.
2 And I saw another angel ascending from the east, having the seal of the living God: and he cried with a loud voice to the four angels, to whom it was given to hurt the earth and the sea,
3 Saying, Hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees, till we have sealed the servants of our God in their foreheads.
4 And I heard the number of them which were sealed: and there were sealed an hundred and forty and four thousand of all the tribes of the children of Israel.

After awhile you’d think it would get hard to keep finding stupid stories.  I mean I’ve done 161 of them before this and the book is only so big.  How much asinine crap is there?

When you think you are stuck all you have to do is open up Revelation.  It reads like a bad acid trip start to finish.  That’s just what I did here.  I just randomly clicked on one of the chapters and that’s what I got.

So there are angels standing on the four corners of Earth here.  I’m not sure what the **** God thinks Earth looks like but it doesn’t have corners.  They are there keeping the wind from blowing.  Kinda wondering how that’s supposed to work too.  The wind is the atmosphere sloshing around as the Earth turns.  Thinking that just standing in four corners that don’t exist might stop it is nuts.

I would note I found two paintings of this.  I love paintings because they show how silly it would look.  Neither one of them showed the corners.  This one shows four morons in space where there is no air holding back orange gas.  It’s awesome.

Then another angel shows up and wants to stamp the forehead of believers with “God’s seal.”  Is this like a stamp you get when you to to a club to prove you paid the cover?

But then the kicker.  There’s only 144,000 of you morons who are getting in.  I thought that Studio 54 was tough to get in back in the 1970s but holy crap.  That means that only 0.0024% of you morons have it right.  Think about that the next time you are sure you are getting the nod.

About Gazoo

I'm a network engineer in the Phoenix area. Political conservative and atheist since age 10
This entry was posted in Bible science, Funny, Stupid Bible Story and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.