Stupid Bible Stories part 163 – God Hates Bacon


baconDeuteronomy 14:8 KJV
8 And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it is unclean unto you: ye shall not eat of their flesh, nor touch their dead carcase.

OK, honestly since the NFL is starting today I’ve been saving this one for a couple of months and was going to say God hates the NFL since they touch dead pig skin all day long.  The only problem is I looked it up.  They don’t actually use pig leather anymore.  That’s too bad.  I would have been funny.

But still, this says that bacon and pork are unclean and you shouldn’t even touch it much less eat it.   The Muslims and Jews still stick with that even though we know that it’s totally safe to eat as long as you cook it throughly.

So anyhow all you bacon cheeseburger loving Christians out there, God disapproves of what you are doing.  I just wonder how many of you are going to be doing time in Hell on a bacon wrap.  I can hear it now….how did you get here?  Well, I had a BLT last Saturday and didn’t repent.  Makes total sense to me.

So the takeaway here is that Jews and Muslims both take God’s word more serious than the Christians do.  I guess I should take that as a step in the right direction for the Christians.  This is so asinine they know enough to ignore it.

About Gazoo

I'm a network engineer in the Phoenix area. Political conservative and atheist since age 10
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