Stupid Bible Stories part 154 – How High Was Ezekiel?


cherubEzekiel 1:1-6 KJV
1 Now it came to pass in the thirtieth year, in the fourth month, in the fifth day of the month, as I was among the captives by the river of Chebar, that the heavens were opened, and I saw visions of God.
2 In the fifth day of the month, which was the fifth year of king Jehoiachin’s captivity,
3 The word of the LORD came expressly unto Ezekiel the priest, the son of Buzi, in the land of the Chaldeans by the river Chebar; and the hand of the LORD was there upon him.
4 And I looked, and, behold, a whirlwind came out of the north, a great cloud, and a fire infolding itself, and a brightness was about it, and out of the midst thereof as the colour of amber, out of the midst of the fire.
5 Also out of the midst thereof came the likeness of four living creatures. And this was their appearance; they had the likeness of a man.
6 And every one had four faces, and every one had four wings.

Well….I guess that answers the title question.  He was high as ****.  The dude was seeing crap that looked like a man, but had four faces and four wings.

What he is describing here is a Cherub.  No they aren’t the cute little babies with a bow that you’ve heard about.  Apparently theses things can burn you up if they don’t hide their firey body with the wings.

Now I’ve been pretty drunk before, but nothing like this.  Holy crap….  And then he came and told other people what he saw and for some weird reason they took it seriously.  This bronze age stoner is considered a prophet now.

And then Christians can’t figure out why I think they are gullible to the point of stupidity.

About Gazoo

I'm a network engineer in the Phoenix area. Political conservative and atheist since age 10
This entry was posted in Funny, Stupid Bible Story and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.