Stupid Bible Stories part 137 – Jesus Wears A Girdle


Jesus candlesticks 77frRevelation 1:12-17 KJV
(12)  And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks;
(13)  And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle.
(14)  His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;
(15)  And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.
(16)  And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength.
(17)  And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last:

OK, I went for the cheap headline.  It does say Jesus wears a golden girdle and has feet that look like brass.  That and he has white wool hair and flames in his eyes and a sword in his mouth, but that wasn’t the real stupid part.

Well….it was the stupid part.  Don’t get me wrong.  Jesus was one screwed up looking dude if this is all right here.  They even had to leave out the sword in the picture.  I  couldn’t find one with it in.  There is one at the Brick Testament if you want to see it in Lego, but I really like the ones the retards who buy this stuff do.  It’s so much funnier when they are serious.

But the real asinine part is the bit about holding seven stars.

To even say that means you don’t have a clue what the hell those things in the sky are.  That’s damn sure not a god who created it.

About Gazoo

I'm a network engineer in the Phoenix area. Political conservative and atheist since age 10
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