Stupid Bible Stories part 106 – How Strong is God

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Personally I was always told that God was as strong as it gets.  But what’s the Bible say?

Numbers 24:6-8 KJV
6  As the valleys are they spread forth, as gardens by the river’s side, as the trees of lign aloes which the LORD hath planted, and as cedar trees beside the waters.
7  He shall pour the water out of his buckets, and his seed shall be in many waters, and his king shall be higher than Agag, and his kingdom shall be exalted.
8  God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows.unicorn-rainbow-247x300

Wait…what….

So God has the strength of a….. UNICORN????

I’d certainly think that the omnipotent maker of the entire 125 billion galaxy Universe would be stonger than a unicorn.  But apparently not.

Christians, you are free to gripe about the translation all you want on this one.  I don’t know why you hire such shitty translators to do your holy book, but let’s just say on this on you’re right.

OK, it doesn’t really mean a unicorn.  It might mean an ox or a rhino or any other damn thing.  So that means your God is only as strong as one of them

Feel better now?

About Gazoo

I'm a network engineer in the Phoenix area. Political conservative and atheist since age 10
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