Stupid Bible Story part 74 – Avoid the “Flow”

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Leviticus 15:19-27 KJV
19  And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.
20  And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean.
21  And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
22  And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
23  And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even.
24  And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean.
25  And if a woman have an issue of her blood many days out of the time of her separation, or if it run beyond the time of her separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her separation: she shall be unclean.
26  Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her issue shall be unto her as the bed of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation.
27  And whosoever toucheth those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

One thing immediately pops into my head.  If it’s so “unclean” to be around a menstruating woman, how do you tell?  Most women I know would be highly insulted if you asked.  I mean there are the mood swings, but they can fool you.  And guys know better than to try to diagnose this.

So how would you know to stay away?  I’ll be honest, I don’t always know my own wife’s cycles.  But it says that if I’m in the same bed or even touch her I have to go clean myself up.  It says the bed is done.  It says every chair in the house is out.  Holy crap….this sounds horrendous.

Now I know why the Catholics don’t want women priests.  I used to think that the lack of a penis disqualified them.  That rather confused me.  I didn’t understand why God was so into having a penis.  But the Bible says that the presence of menstruation does.  Let’s face it, a woman giving out the host when she is riding the cotton pony would be about the dirtiest thing imaginable according to the Bible.

About Gazoo

I'm a network engineer in the Phoenix area. Political conservative and atheist since age 10
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