Stupid Bible Stories part 15 – Naming the animals


Gen 2:19  And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

Adam must have been PISSED.  I mean there are 450,000 known, living species of beetles.  I can be a creative bastard, but I can’t for the life of me imagine how long it would take me to name all of them.

There are something like 3 million living species, and that’s only about 2% of the total number that we know lived at one time or the other.  If they were all alive in Eden, that would make 150 million species Adam had to name.  But we find and catalog around 10,000 new ones every dig season so even that is low.

Let’s say Adam was really spot on, and could name one a second.  Note: this also implies them walking by him at one per second.  I don’t think that the 7 species of Rhinos could make it.  And I really doubt you’d want to have a T-Rex or Brontosaurus running by either.   But hey, let’s just go with they were as friendly as Dino from the Flintstones and as fast as a cheetah.

150 million would still take over a year.  That’s every second too.  No eating.  No sleeping.  Taking a dump is right out.

How the hell the penguins could end up the same place as the Kola is rather a mystery too.  I mean the Eucalyptus tree doesn’t exactly grow where it’s cold.

If I’d have been in Adam’s shoes I’d have asked for a raise right there.  One chick wouldn’t have even been close to worth it.

About Gazoo

I'm a network engineer in the Phoenix area. Political conservative and atheist since age 10
This entry was posted in Funny, Stupid Bible Story and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.