Stupid Bible Stories part 5 – Living in a Fish


Jonah 1:17 Now the LORD had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.
FishYes, contrary to popular belief it really does say “fish” and not whale.  Jesus calls it a whale later on:

Mat 12:40  for as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the whale; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.

But the text in the Old Testament says it’s a fish and whales aren’t fish.  Now I know the Bible never contradicts itself, but there you have it.

This story is goofy from the word go.  Jonah thinks he can calm the sea down by tossing himself into it.  It actually works too.  But of course God decides to make a point.  I’ve read it three times just now, and I’m not really sure what the point was.  But I’ve been assured that he had one.

Jonah lives inside this fish for three days.  I don’t even have words for this.  Any “creation scientists” care to do the experiment to show that I’m wrong about this being silly?  Seriously, you live in a fish for three days and have it vomit you up on dry land like this story says I’ll admit you have to have a god looking out for your goofy ass.

And what’s even better about it… I already pointed out Jesus talked about it like it really happened.  Makes the whole metaphor argument seem a bit daft.

About Gazoo

I'm a network engineer in the Phoenix area. Political conservative and atheist since age 10
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