Leviticus 19:27 KJV
27 Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.
Apparently, it matters to God that you don’t have a rounded hair style. This extends to your beard, so you need to watch that too.
I’m just wondering why an omnipotent being would give a crap? Do you think the Mr. T look is what he really wants? I mean lots of corners there. Both in the Mohawk and the beard.
Leviticus 11:21-23 KJV
21 Yet these may ye eat of every flying creeping thing that goeth upon all four, which have legs above their feet, to leap withal upon the earth;
22 Even these of them ye may eat; the locust after his kind, and the bald locust after his kind, and the beetle after his kind, and the grasshopper after his kind.
23 But all other flying creeping things, which have four feet, shall be an abomination unto you.
So which is it Christians….God can’t count to six? Beetles, grasshoppers and locust used to have four legs? We just haven’t found any of the four legged birds that are all over the place? What?
Your God supposedly created all this stuff. So why did he get it wrong when he was talking to the Levites?
Maybe your Creation Scientists ought to work on finding these fossils if you want to convince us. Good luck with that. That and the dinosaur saddle that is on display at your museum.
Hey….don’t blame me for this one. Paul said it. Yes, I do realize that he was a closet homosexual who hated women and wasn’t worried about getting laid. I mean if he wasn’t he wouldn’t say anything like this.
1 Corinthians 14:34-35 KJV
34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
Yes, that is right. Women preachers are obviously rebellious and unruly. Paul couldn’t possibly have it wrong.
And in case you think that’s the only place:
1 Timothy 2:11-15 KJV
11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Yep, he really meant it. So you have your marching orders here. Shut the hell up and stay sober.
Joshua 10:12-14 KJV
12 Then spake Joshua to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon.
13 And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.
14 And there was no day like that before it or after it, that the LORD hearkened unto the voice of a man: for the LORD fought for Israel.
OK…..someone want to inform God that the Sun isn’t the thing moving? I mean it’s pretty clear here that’s what he thinks. If you want to extend the day so your people can continue their genocide you command the Sun to stop.
Christians want to ignore that the Bible has no idea how the Solar System works. But it doesn’t. How could this be from a god that made it all? He doesn’t even know the Earth rotates.
I’d like to point out this does place Heaven inside the Solar System as well. Or at least it places it around the Sun since the Sun is in Heaven. So…when is Hubble going to find it?
Christians ask each other what they ought to do about some sin they committed. Well, according to the Bible, all you need is a goat.
Leviticus 4:22-26 KJV
22 When a ruler hath sinned, and done somewhat through ignorance against any of the commandments of the LORD his God concerning things which should not be done, and is guilty;
23 Or if his sin, wherein he hath sinned, come to his knowledge; he shall bring his offering, a kid of the goats, a male without blemish:
24 And he shall lay his hand upon the head of the goat, and kill it in the place where they kill the burnt offering before the LORD: it is a sin offering.
25 And the priest shall take of the blood of the sin offering with his finger, and put it upon the horns of the altar of burnt offering, and shall pour out his blood at the bottom of the altar of burnt offering.
26 And he shall burn all his fat upon the altar, as the fat of the sacrifice of peace offerings: and the priest shall make an atonement for him as concerning his sin, and it shall be forgiven him.
It does go on at some length from there about when you should use a female goat and a male. But the point is there. Just kill a goat and you’ll be forgiven.
Yeah, I know he’s a cute little bastard. But God likes the smell when you burn the flesh. So you pretty much have to.
This was a great bit about the “God of the Gaps” argument that Christians love to use. It’s also very funny how he tears up the Bill O’Reilly thing by using it as the example.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson Destroys Bill O’Reilly
Isaiah 34:6-7 KJV
6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a 
sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.
7 And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.
Yeah,
Stephen King was going to write about this, but he considered it too sick. I mean blood everywhere. Blood from rams, goats and lambs. Blood from bullocks and bulls.
I think I’ll ignore the unicorn part. It’s too easy.
So exactly when did God get over this thirst for blood? Oh yeah, it’s when he had his kid tortured and killed. What a prick.
“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?”
Epicurus – Greek philosopher, BC 341-270
Look, it’s simple. Evil existing is logically incompatible with a god that loves us. Either he can stop it or he can’t. If he can, then he must be choosing not to. So Christians, make up your mind here. Is your God not all powerful, or is he an evil prick who wants us to be miserable? You can’t have it both ways.
But what does the Bible say about where evil comes from. Well, I know of a few examples and they all come down to this:
Isaiah 45:7
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
So now we know. Evil exists because God made it according to the Bible. So stop with the crap about how much he loves us. It doesn’t fly.
Genesis 15:3-4 KJV
3 And Abram said, Behold, to me thou hast given no seed: and, lo, one born in my house is mine heir.
4 And, behold, the word of the LORD came unto him, saying, This shall not be thine heir; but he that shall come forth out of thine own bowels shall be thine heir.
From Abraham’s own BOWELS??????
I mean I realize this text is pretty old, but bowels? That just isn’t even close to how it works. How could an omnipotent being who created the entire Universe not know that? Heck, how could the Bronze Age idiot who actually wrote this not know that?
