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Yes, I know not actually a question.  What do you expect from a dumbass?

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So let’s count the logic mistakes here

1- Shifting the burden of proof.  Very obvious right off and a formal fallacy.  The person making the positive claim has that one and for very obvious reasons.  You make a claim you are the one who needs to provide evidence why it might be true.  Getting to the truth STARTS with evidence, not the claim.  The reason this is so important to them is simple.  They don’t have any actual evidence to back up any of it.

2- Appeal to popularity.  Saying that a lot of people believe something doesn’t mean it’s true on any level.    Formal logic error here too.  But the funny thing is 2/3 of the world doesn’t believe this story so even if it weren’t it would be negative evidence.

3- Reported eyewitnesses – Well that one is funny.  Note they don’t have actual eyewitnesses.  They just have rumors of them and this assclown thinks that makes for evidence.  Let me help you out.  Evidence is something that you can hand me and I can examine.  It’s only good evidence if it doesn’t have alternate explanations that make more sense.  The Bible has lots of explanations that make more sense given that it doesn’t even know how people got here.

4- Unsupported claim on that prophecy bit.  Let’s be real here.  I can point out TONS of misses.  All they do is go though a bunch of mental gymnastics to say that it has been.  It’s crap.  Anyone who takes any time at all to look at it knows it’s crap.  It’s exactly why the Jews don’t believe in Jesus.  He didn’t make most of the prophecy.  The prophecy in Revelation calls for a seven headed dragon wearing crowns on it’s heads to show up and knock stars out of the sky with it’s tail.  That will be a neat trick.  How come the God doesn’t know those things are really far away…..and HUGE?

5- Pascal’s Wager— Let’s see there are a bunch just in that alone.  The basic one is that it assumes way fewer possibilities than there are and it assumes the possibilities are equal with no evidence given to support that.  You can also easily come up with scenerios that you are taking a bigger risk by picking a god out of the thousands that people have believed in.  Maybe Odin only gets pissed if you pick a competing god?

We can’t help people who are this stupid and we shouldn’t try.  I mean if you really can’t deal with the basics in how to logically follow though a problem you are going to have to believe whatever asinine thing you hear.  Folks, talking to morons like this is a waste of time.  You can do it in public but you have to mock it.  Making rational points to someone like this is like giving antibiotics to someone who died a few days ago.

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Job 30:26-31 KJV
26 When I looked for good, then evil came unto me: and when I waited for light, there came darkness.
27 My bowels boiled, and rested not: the days of affliction prevented me.
28 I went mourning without the sun: I stood up, and I cried in the congregation.
29 I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.
30 My skin is black upon me, and my bones are burned with heat.
31 My harp also is turned to mourning, and my organ into the voice of them that weep.

Brother to dragons and companion to owls.  This is one seriously messed up dude.

His bowels are boiling.  Maybe he should lay off the Mexican food.  Evil came unto him.  Yes, I’ve had girl friends like that too.  His bones are burned with heat.  OK, now that one is just dumb.

I mean what the hell?  Where do theses guys come up with this crap?  Although I do have to admit looking for a picture for this one was fun.  Google “brother to dragons” and look for images.  You get Ninja comic book stuff.  All very appropriate.  But I think I’ll just skip the graphic on this one.

This is from Job.  I guess if God screwed me over the way he did Job I’d be a little screwed up too.  All because of some gambling issue that God has with Satan.  That’s right, they screwed him over because of a friendly bet.  Satan said he’d turn on God if his life wasn’t so good.  God said he was just that much of a sucker for God.  God was right, but holy crap.  Being friends with God as a mortal really sucks.

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Conservatives like to say they are the ones for liberty and freedom.  I know that I am.  So why the hell are you flipping out that someone was given the right to marry who they want?Phelps-Gay-Marriage

No kidding, we should have had the lead on this one.  Even 5 years ago most everyone was against this.  I wasn’t.  I never saw it as a states rights issue.  States shouldn’t have such rights.  It’s not OK for the state to tell you how to live.  I never saw it as anything other than what it was.  It was government telling people what they couldn’t do with their life.  It was government telling them they didn’t have the right to pursue the happiness they wanted.  Notice they weren’t hurting anyone.  They weren’t even doing anything that effects anyone else.  They just wanted to live their lives the way they thought would make them happy.

Let me make it clear, I don’t for a second get the gays wanting to marry each other.  But they do, and that means I don’t have the right to stand in their way.

I don’t get why some of the conservatives that I know are flipping out here.  You’d think they were told their marriages didn’t count now.  You’d think that something catastrophic happened here.  It doesn’t change one thing for you.  Get over it for petes sake.

This one seems like such a no brainer to me.  The Libertarians have had it right for all the right reasons for a long time.  Generally that pulls the rest of us in.  It got me years ago.  We should have been the ones to push this, not the liberals.  The liberals mostly are using it to make our side look like tyrannical morons.  AND THEY ARE RIGHT.  It’s true that a very short time ago they were on the same side as us.  Gay marriage wasn’t even taken seriously for either side.  But supporting the ban is doing exactly the type of thing you claim to hate.  They have a huge political issue here that should have been ours.  I honestly saw the push from the libertarian right way before the left jumped in

Yes, I know, your religion tells you gays are evil and Leviticus says you ought to kill them.  You aren’t actually doing that because you know it’s wrong.  Leave them alone and let them do what they want and I’m with you that they should leave you alone.  You don’t have to like them.  You don’t have to respect them or the way they are living.  But you do have to let them be free and equal under the law.

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CaptureNot to pick on just this guy.  This bit of idiocy is asked all the time.

Short answer is we don’t.  There’s no a single clear documented case of this that I know of.  There have been a few famous cases like the Lady Hope story about Charles Darwin, but that one is most certainly a lie.  The family that was preset all say so.

What this is about is the religious projecting their fear of death on to us.

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This is perfect.

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ex39-high-priest-garmentsExodus 28:34-35 KJV
(34) A golden bell and a pomegranate, a golden bell and a pomegranate, upon the hem of the robe round about.
(35) And it shall be upon Aaron to minister: and his sound shall be heard when he goeth in unto the holy place before the LORD, and when he cometh out, that he die not.

OK, if you don’t think that this is stupid I’d like to point out that there aren’t any 3000 year old Jews around.  But seriously, the part that’s really funny here is the way this is supposed to work.

Let’s sew a bell and a pomegranate on the hem of your robe and alternate all the way around.  Then walk around and jingle your way into the hole place in the Temple.  God is going to reward this very hippy sound with you not dieing.

I mean come on people….this is hilarious.  I mean it might get bears to leave you alone, but it’s not going to do anything else other than make you look like an idiot.

The thing is, if you Google this you’ll find they still make robes like this.  They are sometimes called Glory Garments.   OK, they replace the pomegranates with a little fuzzy purple ball, but it’s obvious this is what they are going for here.

Seriously folks, you really need to act like it’s past the sixteen hundreds.

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So this probably isn’t a troll here.  I’ve heard this date three times the last week but I’m not sure where they are getting it.  That’s always the problem with stupid questions, you can’t tell if they are real or not.  I’d like to stick with the real ones.

The thing that gets me is that this Rapture thing isn’t even Biblical.  This is a new thing that only dates back about 150 years.  I’ve read the Bible cover to cover twice.  It ain’t there folks.  So not only do I think you are idiots for believing something that crazy, most Christians know you are idiots about it too.  But the same way you read in that something that isn’t there, you manage to keep reading in dates that come and go with nothing happing.

It does however bring back fond memories of the May 21, 2011 date.  Holy crap, that went on for a year at least.  Idiots were quitting their jobs and going around the country telling everyone about it.  The reaction when it didn’t happen was priceless.  See, May 21 happens to be my birthday.  What an amazing present that was.

I’d love to know where the date is coming from.  If any of you know either hit the comments or email me with the contact form and I’ll update things here.  It would be funnier with a source of the madness.  I just can’t find it.

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starsJoel 3:12-16 KJV
12 Let the heathen be wakened, and come up to the valley of Jehoshaphat: for there will I sit to judge all the heathen round about.
13 Put ye in the sickle, for the harvest is ripe: come, get you down; for the press is full, the fats overflow; for their wickedness is great.
14 Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision: for the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision.
15 The sun and the moon shall be darkened, and the stars shall withdraw their shining.
16 The LORD also shall roar out of Zion, and utter his voice from Jerusalem; and the heavens and the earth shall shake: but the LORD will be the hope of his people, and the strength of the children of Israel.

The stars will withdraw their shining…..

This shows a very basic misunderstanding of how the Universe is put together.  Most of the stars we see stopped shining a long time ago.  We’re just seeing the light stream that they made when they were shining.  If one that’s only a million light years away stopped today we wouldn’t notice for a million years.

Then theres that second bit about the heavens and Earth shaking.  OK, Earth does have earthquakes and it does shake.  Outerspace however can’t shake and if it did we wouldn’t notice.

 

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Joel 2:1-3 KJVangel sounding trumpet
1 Blow ye the trumpet in Zion, and sound an alarm in my holy mountain: let all the inhabitants of the land tremble: for the day of the LORD cometh, for it is nigh at hand;
2 A day of darkness and of gloominess, a day of clouds and of thick darkness, as the morning spread upon the mountains: a great people and a strong; there hath not been ever the like, neither shall be any more after it, even to the years of many generations.
3 A fire devoureth before them; and behind them a flame burneth: the land is as the garden of Eden before them, and behind them a desolate wilderness; yea, and nothing shall escape them.

Sure sound the alarm.  God is coming today.

No wonder these guys all think that this is about to happen.  This was written thousands of years ago, so it must be any day now.

How many times are you guys wanting to look silly sounding alarms for things that are never going to happen?

 

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I’ve been seriously slacking on these.  I’ll try to do better.  For anyone who doesn’t know I hang on Yahoo! Answers a lot and the things that get asked are insane so hilarious.  Today’s entry:

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I know….I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about either.   Parading your ignorance around doesn’t help your case a bit.

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